Salt is Sweet...

I fail to feel, but I see and I speak. A humble how are you, projected selflessly. So many steady strangers, more than just home. This one is yours... take it and go! Positive tension lingers between you and me. Love is action not feeling, but colliding chemistry? The sun is awake now, with the amicable stares. Never ill-mannered like your disheveled hair. The cold air bites, it misses our hearts. Blessed with this ocean, for us God imparts.

Life for Free...

It is all so clear to me now.
Never before have I felt this complacent.
People, places, things, like rainbows lead to let down.
But this is more than an embrace, more than just a moment.
Not friends, not lovers could ever amount.
For once poured out, my heart well spent!

Just Another Day

I turned 26 yesterday and I bought myself an E string... now everything will be in tune, I'm trusting.

Passing Time

Different place, different time, but this feeling is the same. The cold radiates beyond the surface, and it's pinching deep. My heart escapes beats with your reminiscing tears, it's that time of year. It's a common sign and your shoe is heavy on staying. You were never one to stop, and here the view is lacking a scene. The light is buzzing green, take all the time you need. Oh brother, it's getting late. I want to push past the crossroads, swallow, and consume your grief. Now dusk imparts the horizon as the sun abandons the scene. Night defeats. Let it go. She's gone, at peace.

Room for Shapes

One can never have too many sides... I am so grateful for every one of my abstract friends. I have never been one to saturate my walls with Renaissance art anyway... perfection loses its appeal, and ohhhh how I abhor obtuseness.

Song for the Best

Dear tmk,

Thank you for your beautiful song. Here is a quickie I wrote in return because I love you so much:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/55410155752ce9/

I apologize for my lack of savvy with g-band and distorted sound, but it's from the heart.

Love Always,
besty

Loose Change is Good

My finger I can't quite place. It wavers and wanders over the repeats of my heart and the replays in my head. This feeling so disconcerting, I can only point at my own shortcomings. I feel the disappointment chilling my bones, as my expectations of others perpetually hit the ground. I'm not accustomed to normalcy, but this is becoming a common attribute. I'm realizing their corners and their curves, and realigning my own crooked turns. They advise a cliche, 'you live and you learn.' I trust their loose end wise words, as they do come with age. Here I want to whisper a new song under my breath, and sing it elsewhere to the world. This song around I will be more prudent, retract my index finger, and simply learn to live.

I Don't Eat Meat

I linger and listen to that 99th tear to glisten...
I'm letting go of another expected love song.
Skipping over those tracks and everything that lacks...
a sweet embrace and second glances prolonged.

But here I am, this is me, only me...
my head, my heart, my hands, my feet.
Spill the wine and the pills, let the numbness evade...
walk away, swallow deep, feel that pain so willingly.

They lie through their pretty, tearing teeth, it's not me, it's You...
it was You all along for this alleged self affliction.
I'm turning over decimated leaves, wistful faith renewed...
heart ready, walk steady with You, my new found addiction.

Hunting Season

They say you don't know until you know...
I'm lacking brilliance to flip that switch,
to make that bulb glow.

It's all fair game, but I prefer the sea...
Oh fate expectedly late,
next year I'll fly that kite with a key.

Life is Shorter

They're all passing now. My heart aches today. Not the impaling kind, but the hurt that is incessantly reminding the rest of my body that something is out of tune. He sings out of key, but I love it. I'm uneased when I think about how there is always that minor gliche that keeps that red light from glowing. I want him... to think of me too. I hate distance, but I like driving. Drive, drive, drive this to the ground and give me something perfect, something for real this time. He gets me without words, it's magnetic. It's pulling hard, but it's messy in the middle. With my list he's first, on his list I'm not. So much riff raff, so little time. It's one big chain reaction, really. I'm on their top, their on my bottom, he's on my top, I'm on his bottom. I'm sick, it's urgent. He must know that I like it on top, but maybe I should just tell him... no. Something beautiful must be waiting in that room. The one with an ocean breeze, windows for walls, and all the toys, but no games... just toys.

Keeping Word

Away...

here to there.

mindless...

unaware.

words...

adhered?

unheard...

I feared.

Backward.

You float.

Forward.

Our boat.

Hands tight.

Walk steady.

hearts right.

for me, for you... for me.

I Remember...

When today's sorrow persisted until tomorrow. As the confines of the unkempt room, secured thoughts of reclusion past noon. Then the comfort of shrewd fear never grazed so near. Brushing chance mistaken fate, untimely, yet punctually late. Just one more dire dose, always second to last, perpetually indisposed. But then the sky and the haze, mercifully parted ways. Our coincidence, your lovesick stare, the stale brew ridden dare. The poetry you sing, eunique flings, the bullshit rings, and our perfected kinks. This harmony like youth embraced, slowly fades. I'm gone the next day...

Plenty of Room...

10 parts them, one part me,
the deranged melding so lovely.

Behold the combination to unlock,
that equivocal heart's thought.

I do, but choke on your recycled verbs,
with a notched belt that prefers the world.

I'll melody your strum,
but double knot what you've undone.

still waiting...

Rise Up

The walls have grown heavy, and I'm washing them white as I breathe deep. It'll only take a while to retract the window from the sill. It's me, but it's you I see. You can't hurry love, and I can't suffocate pain, so we'll drive the moment somewhere in between. We're veering off the night beaten path, and skipping over broken glass. Scatter our dejected pieces, and put us back together at dawn...

Have a Heart...

Made out of clay.
There must be a better way...


"With a sunrise and a sunset there’s a change of heart or address. Is there nothing that remains? For a sunrise or a sunset. You’re manic or you’re depressed. Will you ever feel ok?"

--b.e.

L for Hallelujah

Today I looked up and painted the sky grey...
but I gotta fix that, I better fix that.

It's normal u know... it just cycles through without reason and cuts deep.
It pricks the mind, and almost impales the soul.

They're blind to the severity, but I'll entertain the remedy...
cold sheets and inexistence.

Save me, save yourself.

There's a mode of reason around every sharp corner, and a selfless verse for every acute angle.

I tilt my head up at the sky with my heart, my head, my soul... hallelujah.

Hallelujah...

Let's Equate

You happy = me happy.

I'll remedy the emotion with a little light and some heavy devotion, it's time to spark the change...

I Chews You

Minutes, days, months...
smiling with your fake veneers.
I precipitate and wait...
melt away your facade with my tears.

But it's not those pretty things...
your teeth they will rot.
It takes a little time to flick the change...
with this agitated love you once forgot.

Now my wardrobe's clean...
your soul inside out.
Elate a verse at every intersection...
and sing to a new crowd.

Something is Being Delivered...

It's me.

Come on Life, Go...

Something needs to be done, find the list.

Someone is always away, clench the wrist .

Detach the loathe from the self.

Separate the love from contempt and wealth.

Get up, get up, move your feet, move your feet.

Dang it heart, just beat, Beat, BEAT!

Lost & Found...

Nothing fits, but the straightjacket.
I scorn missing things.

Mind eluded.
The old conductor sings.

Those shoes untied.
Can't catch that train.

I got prudence in my pocket.
Some discontent in the slow lane.

A new penny for the loafer.
Another dime for a friend.

Tut tut, I'll take the old sneakers.
A torn heart, a needle, and some thread.

Ciao...

It's normal as usual, these continuous glances. Never last, never certain, never cumbersome, never too near. I'm counting days to seconds, choking the horizon at sunset. But the dark has surmounted light, and our coincidence has lost its bright. Don't worry love. I've got a book for the match, and a flicker for this flame. This breeze unremitting, shut the swinging door on farewells. The tumblers are empty, and the coasters are drained. Come fill my glass, feed my soul, thirty not thirtytwo. We'll see the world move mountains, and feel the sea with our dreams.

Make the Shift and Split

It's one of those things where I clap and you dance.
Now the wind has averted, and you leave when I stand.
Never perfected, but always perfect...
Just swallow the regret.

Grasp.

Let go.

Now I see, now I see...

The dust never leaves, but my vices are clean.
The kind of shit that tastes bitter, but nourishes the intrigue.
You contrive show and tell...
Manifest a gratifying hell.

Spit.

Forget.

Now I breathe, I breathe.

Use Your Head?

This morning a bird randomly took flight from my head. It's been awhile since I last had such mixed thoughts. Disgust from piercing legs invading my mind. Reverence in the idea of my head being in a mode of stability for once. Envy of acting upon the desire for a geographically inspired perspective. Blissful for contriving ideas of heads to provide for my perpetual evasion from normalcy... damn lucky birds.

Aidyn?

Oh yes... this is my nephew. I've only seen him twice, but love him and miss him dearly. I plea to eradicate tradeoffs completely... no, no, I'll be a little less harsh: Death to tradeoffs.

Sew What?!...

if I've only slept for 20 minutes in the last 3 days of finals. Post delirium has overthrown my mind into a lucid dream. My machine has legs as my hands move robotically... "don't let it run away wit chu," says Ms. Fisher to my temporal lobe. My robot is becoming immaculately punctual as the needle pierces repeatedly through opulent cloth. The sky escapes darkness as I plead of time to be more munificent. Is it that time is never on my side? No. Never say never. I have no sides.

Dispirited Wit...

I really have nothing of importance to say, or even anything remotely witty. Maybe I'm too dejected or incapacitate to do so, and it's best I leave it to someone else...

Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.

-Voltaire